Dedicated to my friend and brother, Deni Christian.
My story is inspired by my friend's, Deni Christian, story (you can find it in my blog). He shared his story with me, entitled: "A gift of presence". When he sent me the story, he was at the hospital, accompanying his mother, to take care of his father.
I learned today that his father had gone to be with the Lord. Remembering what his family has been doing so far to help and all the prayers for the health of his father, we believe that our God is a loving God and He will always give the best. He cares so much about us and those we love.
I am so sad with the news.
I remember crying soberly to God, asking why He didn't answer my prayer to let my grandma stay a little longer, but at the end I understood that God plan was best and it was arranged for our goodness.
Kak Deni,
I am really sorry for your loss.
God will definitely show you the way to smile again. I know this experience will change you forever. Just remember all the good times you shared with your father and all the love he gave you throughout the years. He is with our loving God now. He will will in your heart forever.
Thank you for your story about "A gift of presence." I was sorry for the promise I couldn't keep to my grandma, but it's never to late to share this gift with those we love.
God bless you and family.
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I have ever experienced losing those I love. It hurt. It was a time for a heartache.
When my grandmother, my dad's mother, passed away, I was not home. I was out of town, pursuing degree to become a teacher. I remember the day passed as I promised to see her on December 2009 but I didn't do that. I was too busy mending my own things in the city I live.
My father and I was the closest companion to my grandmother till the day I left.
In the end of August 2008, I had to leave the town.
I was not able to tell her that I would depart from our little town, to go to another bigger town. Finally, I managed to leave this matter on my father. After all, grandma is his mother so he would know how to handle her. (That's what I thought)
A year went by, it was 2009, I talked to her on the phone. My father was next to her when she was talking to me. I said hello and she replied me. Her voice was soft and funny. I told funny story and made her laugh. Above all, she reminded me of my promise that I had forgotten: "to meet her on Christmas 2009."
"Aaaaa... Yaaa.. don't worry! I'll be there!" I replied. I didn't mean that actually. I was never realized that it was the last time I would hear voice.
"But, don't lie!" She said further.
"No, I won't" I convinced her.
In December 2009, she was really ill. When I called my sister to check on grandma, she said that grandma was getting older than she used to. She added further, "but she is still talkative and funny!"
I heard her and laughed. I was contented that my grandmother was still there.
Remember, it was December 2009 when she was really ill. I remembered my promise to see her! I didn't keep my word. I wasn't willing to do that. I was too busy (that's what I thought), I wasn't thinking of traveling. I was, after all, 'selfish'. I could've gone home just if I really wanted to.
In January 2010, she got better. We thanked God for her health.
It was the time my father left for his business trip and I put all my attention on my study. Nothing bad had happened so far, that's what we thought.
Even though she got better, she could no longer walk and see. I was sad about these, trying to imagine leaving without being able to see and walk. However, she was still cheerful, and that was important.
I didn't see her but I prayed for her: always.
I felt uneasy about the promise I didn't fulfill and the absence of her voice whenever I called my family.
I forgot, completely forgot that the I could've given her the most precious Christmas gift: my presence, to her. We were best friend, we used to talk a lot about all things. She asked me whether I had managed to date a boy, advice me, prayed and cried for me when I was so unhappy.
One night, while I was praying, I asked God to forgive me for what I had done to my promise. I cried soberly and I didn't know why. I wanted her to stay longer. I gave my petition to God, to let her stay longer with us. Just because I haven't seen her.
I believe that God answers every prayer that we say, but I have learned that God knows what's best for us and for those we love. He plans everything well for our sake because He loves us unconditionally.
At the end of January 2010, grandma went to meet the Lord.
I was at school when my sister called to tell me this. I felt sorry and hurt. I can't describe how I felt that time. My sister said that they she got fever all of sudden and it caused them to call a doctor immediately. My mother and sister were next to her bed when the doctor examined her health. My father, who was in his business trip, was on his way home to see grandma. I believed he wanted to meet her more than any of us.They told me later that she called our names, one by one, on her last breath. It broke my heart.
My dad couldn't make it either. She had already gone when my father arrived. It broke his heart too.
Ah, I didn't see her. My father didn't see her too!
I haven't said I love her. I wished I could.
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